Reminiscences of Malawi

Sitting here in California, where all I’m doing is eating, sleeping, preaching, and visiting friends, I can’t help thinking that life here is a world away from Rwanda.

On the other hand, when I first arrived in Rwanda two-and-a-half years ago, I thought, this is luxury compared to Malawi.

Yes, that was 10 years ago, in the pre-blog era. It’s a shame that I didn’t record experiences from that time, because some of them are real doozies. Such as…

There is this superstitious belief in Malawi (based on witchcraft) that if you boil and eat the genitals of a white person, you will gain strength and other positive attributes. Sadly, this belief has occasionally resulted in the attacking of foreigners for this very purpose.

Even though, strictly speaking, I am not a “white” person—African opinion notwithstanding—it should have behooved me to be constantly on guard. Unfortunately, one evening, a few months before I left Malawi for good, while walking at dusk I was attacked by three young guys who jumped out from the bush, grabbed my shoulder bag, and took off running. I made the mistake of chasing them, and then they stopped in their tracks and started beating me. Somehow, after what seemed an eternity—but was probably less than two minutes—they quit and left. So, they got my cell phone and money, but thank goodness that was all they wanted, if you know what I mean.

Occasionally, this business of trading in human private parts makes it to the front page of the newspaper, as in this one case where, directly in front of the Lilongwe Hotel (where I had a swimming pool membership, by the way), the police made a raid on the trunk of a car containing a bag filled with private parts. Several people were arrested and taken to prison. I don’t think they even got a trial, especially when caught red-handed with the “goods,” so to speak.

But then there was a situation a little closer to home. I had started a Bible study with a Congolese guy in our territory, who shared a room with some of his friends. One day a new friend moved in, and I took the opportunity to start a study with him. That study had only progressed a few short weeks when one day I didn’t find him at home at the appointed time. His roommates told me, he has been arrested. For what? I wondered. Well, it turned out that the charge was ‘selling private parts out of his refrigerator.’ These guys didn’t even have electricity in their house!

The fact is that when Congolese move into an area, sometimes the neighbors, in a fit of xenophobia, concoct completely untrue stories and then report to the police. Anyway, my poor Bible student was detained for about a week, during which time he suffered due to the deplorable conditions in the prison. (You don’t ever want to find yourself in a Malawian prison or, for that matter, a hospital.) With no evidence to prove the original charge, they finally let him go, but his health had been adversely affected.

So, you friends in America, take heart! If someone threatens you over your expensive, top-of-the-line running shoes, just remember that shoes can always be replaced….